The still of the morning air quivered with expectation, an electric hum that could be felt. Gently drifting around me were snowflakes and a thin layer covered the still vibrant emerald blades of grass. The hush of the woods seemed patiently waiting for me to whisper a sweet solemn secret to them. The deciduous trees were bare and skeletal, whilst the thick boughs of the evergreens seemed to shroud them in their leaves. I turned in place and the crunch of snow beneath my boots seemed to break the tension. I stood to face his– I mean our house. This was a place that I was expected to raise a family. How could I do that? Just simply walk away from the freedom and lack of responsibilities? How do I face the ever calling challenge of bringing stability to our house? Bird calls littered the flow of my thoughts. How merry it must be to have wings, but it is true that every bird must return to a nest. Unless I was a penguin…
Our house. The mahogany deck looked even darker in the damp; underneath was an odd assortment of metal objects, mowers a grill, and what looked to be a tiller. So much needed to be sorted and cleaned and taken care of, it almost overwhelms me to think of the inexhaustible list of chores and my finite amounts of energy. It was curious however, within the white paneled siding and under the mouse grey roof, an immeasurable amount of love seemed to seep out. It couldn’t be contained. All the hopes and wishes for the future, our future together, seemed to meld my insecurities with the strength and security that lie nearly dormant. The door cracked open and the sunlight caught his bright orange hair. Sleep held his eyelids captive as he let out a wide yawn. A navy bath robe covered his torso, covering the galaxies of freckles that spanned his shoulders. His eyes open again and they match the color of the sky when seen through an icicle. An icy blue that demands attention.
“Good morning Lovey, thank you for making me tea'” he lilted down the steps to me.
The corners of his lips turned up in a gentle smile. Only once I saw it reach his eyes did I allow myself the luxury to bask in his love and gratitude. Stress seeped out of my body and the tension in my muscles retreated, it was as if he had sucked the poison from my veins. My steps started slow, heavy and fatigued from the uncertainty. By the time I reached the steps, I was close to a full sprint and up the stairs I sped, bulldozing him in a flurry of ice and snow. Our lips align and melt the cold away, in a brief moment I know we are perfectly in tune with each other.
“Anytime, you know I would do anything for you,”
I feel a sly grin tugging at the corners of my mouth knowing that he will never entirely know how I feel for him.